No one wants to go prison! Many who go to court rather paying heavy fine then spending one day in prison. But for some, they rather stay in prison rather than paying even smaller fine. Is it that they no money? Hmmm..To my surprise, some I know in prison commented that they rather sit then pay the government a single cent.
To me, I will pay. However, this is second time. So I must pay and sit in prison for sure.
To go in prison is all about preparation both mental and physical. There is a saying; just think like serving the army and finish soon.
Mental stress is one of the common problems we face when we face charges. We are afraid of the sentence. We are afraid of the imprisonment; we are afraid whether we could have job after the prison. There are so many unclear thoughts in our mind and worst part, no answers for each of them.
What should I do before the sentence?
1. Should I tell my employee?
For me I did not! I know in my faith I will get about 2 weeks sentence and thus I apply for un-paid leave. However my boss did not ask me the reason and therefore I did not tell him or the company.
If you really want to tell, just let your direct boss know. You need not tell your colleges and anyone in the company. When you decide to tell your boss, remember to humble yourself and ask your boss to keep this confidential.
2. Should I resign?
This depends how your boss react in your case. You can try applying for un-paid leave and tell him that you will be in about 2-4 weeks. If you know you are just pure drinking case and mid alcohol test level, you can apply for 2-3 weeks unpaid leave. If you are still no sure, you can apply for 2 weeks and let your boss know that your family can contact him and give him the actual sentence once you are in. however if your boss is not understanding, then resign should be the last choice. Again, this is not end of your world. There is other great opportunity outside that not required driving license.
3. Let your employee know that you did not commit a crime, but an offence.
A Crime and an offence are different although you may end up in jail. An offence is breaking the traffic rules. Crimes compromised your integrity and character.
Famous people have history of drinking offence like Bread talk boss and Christopher Lee.
However let your boss know that you did a mistake and you will receive the punishment from government. Hence let him know you are sorry and ask him to retain to job for you.
I would say for a person who requires a driving license to earn a living, you must accept that you cannot stay in the work unless your boss put you in different role.
Perhaps there is other great opportunity for you outside your work scope and new challenges ahead.
4. What happen if I go interview? What should I say?
Every interview form has a clause stating whether you committed a crime. You should not tick because you are not. Unless there is a clause stated offences then you thick and be honest.
REMEMBER YOU COMMITED AN OFFICENCE NOT A CRIME
I believe in honestly. A company will honor that. If you shared to you new employers about your offences and let them know how much pain and suffering you have went through.
In short, you committed an office and you receive your sentence and serve well. Hence you need not to entertain criticizes but face your future with a new hope.
5. What happen if I really can’t find a job?
You can go Yellow ribbon and they might able to help. Some can’t get a job because they are not use to it. If you drive for many years and suddenly no more convenience, for sure you will feel uncomfortable. Same as a job. I take takes great courage to face new challenges.
There are many other jobs available in Singapore whether you have a driving license or not. Perhaps the new challenges did not have the same pay as before, but remember we did a mistake and we must be humble to be responsible.
If you still face problem with job, you can seek help from Yellow Ribbon. Remember we did not commit a crime. We committed an offence. Hence just be honest with your present company or new company and I believe they can accept your situation.
6. Knowing your family suffers along with you
Whether you are married or not, when you suffer, your families suffered with you. Sometimes through such incident, we begin to value our loved ones. We know pretty well that they have concerns and worry what it likes to be in prison. It is not easy for any family to have their beloved entered into prison. However it might be painful, learn to accept the fact that we do a mistake and we know we must be grateful to them for standing by with us. Hence show more appreciate to your beloved and let them know you made a mistake and you have the courage to face the prison terms.
Through this prison terms, I began to love my family more. I begin to think more when I was inside and wanted to do so much for them that I have never done. I believe it was a good time for me to reflect the wrongs that I did and I decided to change myself when I release from prison. When my wife and baby girl visited me in prison, I was loss with words but tears and affirmation of my love to them.
Remember how bad we are, mistake we made, can never change the love from our parents and spouses and kids if we had. Acceptance is the most importuning thing in love.
7. What if people look down on us?
Well! I have a few inmates who have such problem. I remember sharing with them that we did a mistake and we serve our sentence well. Hence we have already paid our punishment and no one should condemn us.
Self esteem is the problem when we live for others eyes. Whether we are in prison or not, it is not the concern. Whether people look down on us or not, we can’t change them. But for sure one thing is that we are not living for them. If you live for a person eyes, for sure you will suffered whether you are in prison or not.
Be courage and strong and face ourselves, not people. I believe after we release from prison, we will change somehow inside and we look things in different perspective. Whether people look down on us; that doesn’t matter. Most importantly, we don’t look down on ourselves.
8. A good lesson to learn in lifetime
In life we have ups and down. But prison is not something we believe we will go. Seriously I never think one day I will go into prison. I worked hard, enjoy hard and never committed a crime. When the 1st day I arrive in Changi prison, it seems like everybody treated the same whether you are committed an office or crime. We put under the same place when sentence is made in Surbordinates court.
People who committed traffic offences, thief, load sharks, and many other cases who sentence in Surbordinates Court will go to Cluster B changi prison. This I will share more under “14 Days in prisons”.
Some of the similar case like traffic offences asked me why we put under the same roof with criminals. I then notice that in prison, we are all the same perhaps the sentence between us and the criminals are different. But for sure the few days we are under the same roof until we are posted somewhere else.
In prison I learn a lot from different people’s life and story which makes me felt I am still privilege. I took the prison as a learning stage of my life and consider a experiencing for me to know my value.
Hence, I encourage you not to take it so hard on your imprisonment and consider that this is not end of the world because it is not! These are some of the facts to encourage you:
8.1 The sentence is made, face it
It seems like a bad dream after all but the fact is that I am going in for sure. Facing reality is something I learned in the prison.
When I heard the judge sentence me 2 week imprisonment, I was at ease when knowing that it was not longer. The waiting period was stressful because no know what the judge will say and sentence me.
I was thinking, wow, 2 weeks, how to go through? It will be a lie if I say no worries. Of course I have but I chose to reason myself that the sentence had made, I shall face it.
I have met inmates who can accept that they are in prison. Some chose to be silence. Some close up themselves. And for some, complain and start blaming. Whatever it is, the fact that the sentence had made, just face it with a positive attitude.
8.2 They are all types of people in the prison, face it
When you are in the prison, you will meet all kinds and background of people. People who are bad influence and people who are good after all. People from different races, religions, culture and even nation. You might place with people who have tattoos, people from other countries, different races and different age in the same cell.
Whatever background it is, we are all under the same roof and you can’t do anything about it.
Learn to adapt and talk to anyone in the same cell. Those inmates will question your case and background. Don’t get offended and don’t close up yourself. If you chose not to talk, of course inmates will leave you along. But for sure your time will pass slowly.
I have learned one thing is that talking and chatting with different people from different background taught me new things. Some are good and some are bad. Some are boastful, some are life story. Whatever it is, take what is good and throw away the bad one.
Many will comments not to give your contact to anyway, which I agreed. Just know that you serve a short sentence and no need to get to emotional about things people say. Note that some will tell you how easy they get money from different source. But if such things are good and easy, they will not end up in prison.
For me, I talk to everyone who approaches me. In Changi cluster B cell, you will sleep with 3 other inmates and I joke with them every day.
Some will tell you stories that it affected you that you wanted to help after their release. The advice here is to be wise. Many come with a stories and whether it’s true or not, no one knows. If they really face problem, the Yellow ribbon is there to help.
It is good to be kind and compassion. However, wisdom is needed because you have no idea the background of each inmate. Of course some will ask you for contacts or even money when they release. Just know that it is not obligated to give your contact to anyone.
IMPORTANT NOTE THAT IF YOU WRITE ANYTHING ON THE HAND, WALL OR PAPER, YOU MIGHT BE CHARGE.
Hence whether inmate give you number or email on a paper, do not take it and keep.
REMEMBER YOU ARE SHORT TERM THERE, DON’T GET INTO ANY TROUBLE
The prison is against gangs and joining secret group outside. So when you have a paper where number is there, you will be in trouble even you have no intention to join one.
Just let the inmate know that it is not appropriate to give number or email. If he is not happy, leave him. You still have other inmate to talk with.
3. You are only staying for a short sentence soon will be release.
Always remain yourself that you are there for short time. Time is hard inside but soon be over. Many suggest that going prison is like in-camp, which is some truth in it. This saying is to allow us to prepare mentally.
Prison is about freedom. For weeks, you will have no freedom. Bear with it. You will be releasing soon. Just press forward and everyday you will see it pass.
For other prison information, please look at “14 days in prison” and I will share more.
In summary
Again no one likes prison and no one wants to go in. If happen you are about to sentence and might face imprisonment, preparation is very important. I hope that my experience will help you to prepare well and know that you are not along in this.
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